The Cliffco website is currently being restructured using the following guide.  We hope to have something useful and interesting to offer soon.

 

The Idiots Guide to Web Site Development

Fully Illustrated

 

Please follow all instructions exactly as indicated:   Just do what it says - ok?

Step 1

Assimilate all of the required elements, and upload them.

 

 

Step 2

Locate the tribular transbogrifiers at each corner, and assemble them as shown below.

You'll find these hidden in your flat-pack . . some parts may be missing

Please note, centre nut has right-hand thread.

 

 

Step 3

Recruit a couple of adept administrators *

I know a good banana when I see one!

* Shown smarter than actual size *

 

 

Step 4

Now add some posts . . .

You'll notice some posts are quite short - they were made by people who were stumped for words.

 

 

Step 5

And fill them in with this

If you don't know what this is - I really dunno where you've been!

 

 

Step 6

It's always a good idea to get one of these, and teach it to run in circles - it can save you a lot of personal effort.

Fig. (6)  A headless chicken - wind me up . . . watch me run!

 

 

Step 7

Remember, this is the web so you're going to need spiders.  Make sure they've been properly prepared to index your kind of site.

*(Press the button to watch the movie)*

 

 

Step 8

Don't worry if things don't work out right the 1st time around.  Just click Henry I suck, I do to clean up and start again.

 

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The Idiots Guide to Web Site Development was compiled written and edited entirely by a team of offline idiots.  Contributors include Norwegian trawler-men, multi-sporraned pygmy bagpipe players, an Estate Agent, a Woss called Jonathan, Gordon's brown dog, a bearded lady horse-trainer called John, and a bloke from Yorkshire wearing a lot of bling and a purple shell-suit.  We can absolutely guarantee that none of them know anything whatsoever about the internet (or indeed anything else).  This is therefore an idiots guide in it's truest sense.  Please do not try this at home.  If you've only just read this, and you've already tried it - Oops!  

 
 

 

 

Page created by Pete Clifford for cliffco.co.uk ©2010  All rights reserved.