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Sorry, the forums have been removed due to dwindling support from regular members, and constant attempted abuse by trolls and spammers. We also received the following complaint regarding an animated graphic:

Dear website manager

I feel I must complain regarding the distasteful and inappropriate graphics recently displayed on your website.

My 5 year old son came across a recent animation depicting a man setting light to an anal expulsion of gas. My son then attempted this experiment himself, having eaten a large quantity of beans and then finding a box of matches which I carelessly left lying around.

The resulting explosion propelled him right out of the window, and up into orbit. As a result, we are only able to wave to him at certain times of day (weather permitting) and feel that you are responsible for this.

We require the immediate removal of the offending graphic, and demand that our son be returned to Earth at your expense.

Failure to comply will result in our lawyers writing pointless and expensive letters for the next 10 years or so.

I should also point out that these childish animations do nothing to enhance your site. They merely confirm my belief that your administrators do not have a brain between them.

Yours sincerely

An irate web surfer.
(Name & address not published for reasons of privacy)

 

Whilst we contest that we do in fact have a brain between us, this was being used by my co-administrator who was offline at the time. We do have a degree of sympathy for the plight of the young orbiting flumicator, but thus far have not been able to return him to Earth. We can only hope that he will eventually propel himself back down using the same method that got him up there. In the meantime the forums have been removed for the reasons stated above, and to preclude any recurrence of this embarrasing situation.

However we have not completely given up on our perilous internet antics. Such offerings that remain, together with any future developments, can be accessed from our default URL: www.cliffco.co.uk